Pain and Gain

When we share a post, we are supposed to be posting something joyous or inspiring, but today i chose to talk about pain, the unseen pain. The pain you can’t explain others and sometimes not even to yourself.

Here we go…

I saw a pretty girl, neatly tied hair, fair bit of make up, nice clothes, maintaining good posture looking at herself in the mirror. I thought to myself she must be in love with herself. Isn’t that great! She even took some selfies. 

I wonder do I love myself, and the answer was ‘yes’ i do but in a painful way. I love myself but stopped liking myself. But do I actually love myself? I don’t look in the mirror or feel comfortable in the presence of others. Do I value myself enough? What is my worth? Taking care of self had taken a back seat. Self love seemed difficult.

We take family’s love for granted, but their questions and criticism kind of stays with us, to a point that we feel safer in the company of strangers as we know they are not judging us. We feel uncomfortable in the presence of loved ones and that’s so sad.

We live in a society where we are always expected to be happy. So the first thing we learn is to pretend. Pretend to be happy and pretend to be polite.

All pain is life is not visible from outside, sometimes you even try to hide it from yourself.

Hardest part isn’t when someone leaves you, the most painful is when you have left your own self.

Do you feel beautiful?

What is your worth in your eyes?

Why is it so hard to look yourself in the mirror?

What made you stop doing things for yourself?

When did you stop feeling happy?

Can you think of 5 things you do just for yourself and that gives you satisfaction or happiness. You do it for yourself but not as a reaction to something, not something that you do because there is nothing better to do. “Just for Me”